Restoration and Carrie Faith

Tonight was another very powerful night at prayer group. As we shared prayer requests, I shared what was on my heart concerning my family and my health, and I began to cry. I left the room to go to the bathroom so I could be alone to cry. As I walked, the pain that God had healed from my leg came back. It hurt until I turned around and went back and sat down to listen. God wanted me in that room for every minute of what He was going to do that night.

One of the first things we prayed for was for the restoration of God’s chosen people. We prayed that they would find their way back to God. And although we prayed for the people of Jerusalem and Israel, the Nazarene church was on my heart. I have felt convicted by God that I should be helping to restore the Nazarene church to how He wants His church to be. I have had friends of other denominations telling me not to stay so set on the Nazarene church for my missions later in life, but I feel like I need to stay and fix what is broken, even within my church. I also need to fix what is broken within me. I’m still not so comfortable with the things I’m learning and seeing. I’m not used to dancing in church and multiple people praying out loud. But this is what God wants us to be. He wants a community of believers living without all of the walls we build up. I feel like my church has those walls and ceremonies in a lot of ways. In a lot of ways, though, they are on the right track, though. But we can all improve and draw closer to God.

Then the prayer time got a lot more personal. Before I really knew it, several people had their hands on me and they were praying over me. They prayed for my family and the situation at home, but they also prayed for a spiritual mother and father for me. They also prayed for strength and healing: emotional, spiritual, and physical strength and healing. The whole time, I was soaked in tears. My head was resting in my lap and I was sobbing. Tears soaked my face and legs. The pain in my body was so sharp and it was very bothersome. Then people were praying for me to have more faith. And I do need more faith. I still struggle with some of the things I’m learning, and I still have a hard time asking God for things because I feel like asking is not my right (which I know deep down that I am a child of God and I have every right to ask for healing, but I still struggle with the idea that God would actually heal me.), and it just isn’t my personality to ask people for things. The whole time, I could just feel God saying to my soul over and over, “Carrie Faith, carry faith. Carrie Faith, carry faith.” My name means so much. Not just my middle name, but my first name as well. I am supposed to carry faith. My faith will change the world. God can use even the littlest faith to change the world.

I feel like after this time of prayer and fellowship, I will be able to rest peacefully for the first time in a week. Reconnecting with God’s people in such a spiritual way is good for the soul!